If ever there was a cow that had the misfortune of dying in vain, it is the cow that was slaughtered so that futile vote buying would triumph. Key word here is triumph. This cow was to be distributed among potential voters who would thus vote for the cow murderer, Precious, Dadirai, Makiwa, a very irritating Zanu pf pest. Why is she being classified as an irritating pest? The answer is simple, she is a pest because she seeks to benefit at the expense of the community that she failed to deceive she will represent, if elected. It is this benefiting at the expense of the community that makes her an irritating pest. Irritating because it is common knowledge that all pests are irritating. There is no nice pest ever.

Democracies are usually Christian, with the exception of India, hence, we will use a scenario from the bible, and for the record, it is not blasphemy. When Jesus fed the multitude, the multitude was already there, had come voluntarily, and was not even dreaming of being fed the fish. In politics, this would be an indication of popular will which as a consequence begets political legitimacy, crucial for governing a willing population. Now, you do not slaughter you cow and then distribute it to a community that has been deprived of service delivery, whose welfare has been neglected and to which your corrupt party is insensitive and unresponsive towards. If it worked that way, the Lord Jesus would have pre-ordered bread and fish before the multitudes came to him.

If your party is responsible for displacing villagers whose ancestors have been displaced before by the colonialists, so that select few and top parasites in your party that is retaining power illegitimately can benefit at the expense of the said community, then you are free to slaughter a fat cow for each individual and you would still lose the election. Giving oppressed citizens some meat is indicative of the state of the economy. The economy is stagnant, there is negative growth, unemployment is not a constant variable, but is extremely volatile. All this serves to confirm that your party, and yourself are complete, undisputed failures. How thus can you expect to win the election?

May the cow rest in eternal peace.